Thursday 15 September 2011

An Idiots Guide To Being A Rugby League Writer (2008)

Index

1 – Getting Started
1.1 – Pre-requisites
1.2 – Understanding the game
1.3 – How to work with facts

2 – Journalistic Integrity
2.1 – What is it?
2.2 – What do I do with it?
2.3 – How do I obtain it?

3 – Writing your piece
3.1 – Ignoring facts
3.2 – Opinion over Information
3.3 – Purpose of your article

Chapter 1 – Getting Started
1.1 – Pre-Requisites

Pre-requisites are skills and tools in your arsenal which are strongly required to carry out your duties as a Rugby League writer successfully. These pre-requisites will also be relied upon from time to time in your duties to announce to the world your wisdom on said topics in an effort to get yourself out of some massive hole you dug for yourself, via some unintelligible diatribe you splurted out while half drunk at an important official ceremony.

1.2 – Understanding the game

Information about rugby league is readily available everywhere you look in Australia, so even if you have little to no understanding of the game, you can quickly and easily find out. In most careers, an understanding of the business you are about to enter into is a pre-requisite, luckily for you though, this is not the case for rugby league writers. In fact, the less you know the better equipped you will be.

1.3 – How to work with facts

Facts are very useful at times, but can get in the way of a very good article at other times. You need to understand the delicate balancing act of fact usage. The best and simplest policy, which will always see you in good stead, is this: If it’s a bad fact, use it, if it’s a good fact, then you aren’t writing a rugby league article.

Chapter 2 – Journalistic Integrity
2.1 – What is it?

Journalistic integrity for Rugby League writers is somewhat of an unknown entity, and is another facet normally attributed to pre-requisites, which is not required at all. However if you do happen to have journalistic integrity, you will soon be rid of it once you start getting work published, so don’t fret!

2.2 – What do I do with it?

Hopefully you won’t have any to do anything with, however if you are unfortunate enough to have some journalistic integrity, the best thing to do is to rid yourself of it very quickly. Let it be said and known very clearly and early, that the biggest enemy of any rugby league writer is integrity. You are not hired to be a good journalist. You are hired to write trashy articles which rubbish the game. I’m sure you can see the contradiction with being a reputable rugby league writer.

2.3 – How do I obtain it?

If you are intent on being a respectable journalist, then rugby league journalism is not the avenue you should be attempting. The only rugby league writers to be reputable are well known players, although their integrity stems from their performances on the field, not through their writing.

Chapter 3 – Writing your piece.
3.1 – Ignoring facts

Facts should only arise when discussing a controversy in the game. The facts you use should be clear, repeated as often as possible and should make the people involved in said controversy to come across as worse people than anyone could ever believe. If you are faced with a situation where the parties involved have never been in trouble before, you must immediately link them with the few people who are known offenders. While executing this, you must completely ignore all known facts, opting for whatever you feel seems viable and makes the first time offender appear like a repeat offender.

3.2 – Opinion over information

There are times when important information comes to light which contradicts your opinion on a person and/or situation. In these instances, you must make a very brief mention of the fact, then completely wrap it up in your biased, unsubstantiated, uneducated, hype-riddle d opinion. What you write will determine a player’s credibility. The more players you can defame, the more secure your job will be.

3.3 – Purpose of your article

Rugby league writers must perform contrary to standard journalism practices (ie - provide unbiased factual information for the public). You are to appeal to prejudices, make gross exaggerations, and put players up on pedestals before cutting them down on a regular basis.

Last but not least, don’t forget the Golden Rule:

If you think it, then it’s fact.

Good luck!

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