Thursday, 6 June 2013

An Interview With Rebecca Wilson (2013)

Rebecca Wilson is known by rugby league fans as a nefarious opinion writer, whose works fall on the creative side of the writing art form.

In an effort to allow her to reveal her true feelings towards the game and to explain herself, she didn’t agree to this interview.

This is an interview with Rebecca Wilson, but it is a case of art imitating life. I have carried out this interview using the very techniques that have been tried and tested by Rebecca herself.

Hello Rebecca, bad to meet you.
RW: I’m happy to be here.
First of all I have to ask, Rebecca, do you hate Rugby League?
RW: No. I’m a fan of the game. I just do not like the players or the fans.
Thank you for being so honest. May I ask a personal question?
RW: Sure.
Have you ever done something wrong like breaking the law, maybe something immoral or other similar things that you knew was wrong, while you have been in your current profession?
RW: I’m sure we all have done things that we know were wrong.
Did you get harangued in the media and by the population for all of these wrongs?
RW: Why should I?
Because you hold an important position in the media where you can persuade people to alter their opinions on a subject, as you have access to sources.
RW: What is a sources?
Inside information. People with intimate knowledge of an incident that may not be in the public domain.
RW: Is that what they are?
Well yes. What did you think they were?
RW: Stuff I made up for my column.
You mean ideas.
RW: No, I mean sources.
So, why are you so compelled to lay the boot into rugby league ad-nauseum, despite your own admittedly similar wrong-doings?
RW: Because it is a cash cow.
Is that cow related to you?
RW: Who?
Rhetorical question, sorry. Moving on, what would rugby league need to do to see you write positive articles about it all the time, highlighting the dearth of good work that goes on by players and clubs, unnoticed?
RW: Integrity and accountability would be a good start.
Would you be inclined to meet them halfway in that quest?
RW: Are there suggestions that I have no integrity or accountability?
Calling them suggestions would be naïve if I were to be completely honest with you.
RW: I believe I have no semblance of integrity or accountability. Never have. Never will.
Okay. Let’s change the tone a bit. Do you know much about rugby league, the game, not the rumours and gossip?
RW: I’m of the belief I do.
Which team do you support?
RW: The Cronulla ASADA Essendon’s.
That’s not a team.
RW: Yes it is. I almost comically, became one of their cheerleaders.
Really? Who got the cheerleader roles instead of you then?
RW: Kate Lundy and Jason Clare.
Figures. Rebecca, what do you consider to be the one great gift you have that separates you from the vast amount of writing talent in this country who are unable to get a cushy gig like you have?
RW: I must say, with great glee, I can start a witch-hunt better than anybody.
And that’s something you’re proud of?
RW: As far as a good witch-hunt is concerned, I am the messiah.
Do you consider yourself to be unique in your field?
RW: Because I’m a woman?
No, because you write gossip and hearsay and pass it off as fact. You have quite a bad reputation for publishing stories that haven’t been verified.
RW: I have colleagues who produce the very same dreadfully, almost comically bad, stuff that I do, like Phil Rothfield.
I can’t argue with you there. It’s just remarkable that they all manage to work for the same paper don’t you think?
RW: There are rogues in the ranks of the media, I admit.
Rogues is being generous isn’t it Rebecca?
RW: Yes it is.
Okay, penultimate question, using 5 words, how would you describe the ethics of the newspaper you work for?
RW: Circling wolves, judge and jury.
And finally, using 5 words, how would you describe yourself?
RW: highly paid, bad, without substance.
Rebecca Wilson, thanks for wasting my time.
RW: I have to bolt to the can, apparently it is full of sources for my next story.
Okay, bye bye.

All words attributed to Rebecca Wilson are taken from her following articles:

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