Saturday, 6 December 2014

The Christmas Party (2014)

As the year winds down to its inevitable close, everyone is invited back to Uncle Dave’s place for a big Christmas party and to unwind.

Standing by the door chatting are Anthony, John, Steve, Matthew and Mick.

Price: I thought I had a safe job, I didn’t do anything.
Elliott: That was your downfall, doing nothing.
Griffin: That’s quite hypocritical coming from you Matt.
Elliott: Ah, but I’m a nice bloke you see. How else do you think I made it this far?
Potter: I’m a nice bloke too.
Cartwright: Grant doesn’t seem to like you.
Potter: Nobody does. *looks sadly to the floor*
Elliott: I like you Mick. Cheer up mate, I’ll get you another cordial.
Potter: Thanks Matty, you really are a nice bloke.
Griffin: I thought I had my job nailed down, I even made the finals. *Looks across the room at Wayne* But then HE wanted to come back!
Cartwright: I thought I had the system beat, I signed a 5 year contract. I thought it was foolproof. Turns out I was a fool and there was a clause about not having a fool as a coach. Damn!

Matthew returns with Mick’s drink

Elliott: There you go Mick.
Potter: This is a shoe. I wanted a drink.
Elliott: That’s right, now I remember. Sorry mate. I’ll fix this up. Now, who did I take that shoe off?

Peter is standing in the middle of the room, looking at his shoeless foot.

Elliott: Sorry Pete, here’s your shoe back mate.
Sharp: I don’t really want that shoe. I’m quite comfortable wearing one shoe.
Elliott: You can’t have one shoe on mate. Either put one shoe on, or take the other one off, make a choice.
Sharp: I can’t figure this out! It’s too hard!

Peter takes his remaining shoe off and leaves.

Standing by the Christmas tree are Jason, Wayne, Rick and Shane.

Taylor: Gee Wayne, how is it you always get the biggest present every year in the secret santa?
Stone: Because he takes the biggest present and swaps the names, so that he gets the one he wants.
Bennett: something inaudible
Flanagan: Open your present Wayne
Stone: Shane! Where have you been mate?
Flanagan: I had a bit of a mishap when I visited the doctor. Had to go into isolation for the year.
Stone: Crikey, that sounds bad!
Flanagan: Yeah, I was holed up in this isolation room in the basement, it was very dank. So happy to be out now though.

Wayne opens present. It’s a Doghouse, with a pet puppy inside.

Taylor: Crikey, what a great gift. But you’ve got two dogs now, the one Anthony bought for you last year and this one.
Bennett: I’ll get rid of the other one. I don’t really like it anyway. Do you want it Shane?
Flanagan: Absolutely!

Standing by himself in the middle of the room is Ricky, engrossed in a conversation with himself. No one dares interrupt him. Trent and Ivan are near the drinks, when Anthony arrives to get a refill.

Griffin: Hi Trent, how’s things?
Robinson: Yeah you know, not bad.

James jumps up behind them with a mask on

Shepherd: BOO!

Anthony, Ivan and Trent jump.

Cleary: I should’ve seen that coming

Ivan hears a booming voice from the heavens. It is Go(ul)d.

Go(ul)d: Do unto others before they do unto you.
Cleary: Yes oh wise one!

Ivan grabs a scary mask and then jumps behind the recovering Trent.

Cleary: BOO!
Robinson: ARRGH! Dammit, I’ve been got again!

The food table is circled by Des, Geoff, Craig and Michael

Maguire: Well I should get to choose what I want first, because I’m the best.
Hasler: You’re new here. You’ve got to wait your turn.
Maguire: But I got here before you!
Hasler: We’ve been here for years and deserve to be here before you, You’ve only just got here. We’ve been coming here for years now.
Bellamy: Are there any chicken wings to eat? I’m getting a bit tired of these entrée asparagus spears.
Toovey: There’s some chilli dip over there. It’s very hot though. I had a hot flush and lost my voice. I think someone tampered with it. Someone should look into that. It could hurt someone.

Standing on their own are Paul and Brad, having a little chat to one another about their first Christmas party at Uncle Dave’s.

Green: Shame this do is so far from home though. Dave probably built his house here intentionally to make it hard for me to come.
Arthur: How can you sit here and try and sympathise with me with your petty travel complaint. I lost my toy plane Christmas present!

Paul tries to console Brad, but nothing seems to work. Standing nearby, watching, are Neil, Paul and Andrew.

Paul: Gee that Brad isn’t coping well with losing his plane is he?
Andrew: It was a pretty special toy though.
Paul: I lost my toy present as well. But I bought myself a new toy earlier in the year, so I’m not really worried. Brad should’ve done the same thing.
Neil: He did, but it’s not as good as the one he lost.

There’s a knock at the door.

Sheens: Can I come in?

Everyone: NO!

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