Genesis (2011)

In the beginning when Gallen created the heavens and the Shire, the Shire was a formless void covered in darkness. Then Gallen said, ‘Let there be light’; and there was light. Gallen saw that the light was good. Gallen called the light Day, and the darkness he called Kogarah. And there was evening and there was morning, the first day.

And Gallen said, ‘Let there be a dome in the midst of the waters, separating the waters from the waters.’ So Gallen made the dome and separated the waters that were under the dome from the waters that were above the dome. And it was so. Gallen called the dome Sky. And there was evening and there was morning, the second day.

And Gallen said, ‘Let the waters under the sky be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear.’ And it was so. Gallen called the dry land Shire (except for the wasteland he created to the north, he called St.George), and the waters he called Seas. And Gallen saw that it was good. Then Gallen said, ‘let the Shire put forth vegetation: plants yielding seed and fruit.’ And it was so. The Shire brought forth
vegetation: plants yielding seed fruit. And Gallen saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning, the third day.

And Gallen said, ‘Let there be lights in the sky and a bridge on the earth to separate the Shire from the Kogarah; and let them be for seasons, days and years, and let them be lights in the sky to give light upon the Shire.’ And it was so. Gallen made the two great lights—the greater light to rule the day and the lesser light to rule the Kogarah people. Gallen set them in the sky to give light upon the Shire, to rule over the day and over the night, and the bridge to separate the Shire from the Kogarah. And Gallen saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning, the fourth day.

And Gallen said, ‘Let the waters bring forth living creatures, and let birds fly above the Shire across the sky.’ So Gallen created the great sea monsters in Kogarah Bay and every other living creature that moves. And Gallen saw that it was amusing. Gallen blessed them, saying, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the waters in the seas, and let birds multiply on the Shire.’ And there was evening and there was morning, the fifth day.

And Gallen said, ‘Let the Shire bring forth living creatures of every kind: cattle and wild animals.’ And it was so. Gallen made the wild animals of the Shire of every kind, and everything that creeps around Kogarah. And Gallen saw that it was good and quite funny.

Then Gallen said, ‘Let us make humankind in the Shire in my image, according to my likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the wild animals of the Shire and over every creeping thing that resides around Kogarah’

So Gallen created humankind in his image.

People from the other side of Tom Ugly’s bridge – they were the scraps remaining that Gallen didn’t need. They existed for Gallen's amusement.

Gallen blessed the humans and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the Shire and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the Shire, including those weird looking things across the bridge.’ Gallen said, ‘See, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is upon the face of all the Shire, and every tree with seed in its fruit; you shall have them for food. And to every beast of the Shire, and to every bird of the air, and to everything that creeps in Kogarah, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food and long lasting amusement’ And it was so. Gallen saw everything that he had made, and indeed, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.

And on the Seventh day, Gallen beat Chuck Norris in an arm wrestle.

This is the word of our Lord.

Up, Up, Cronulla.