NRL Cinematic Classics (2012)

The midseason is fast approaching and fast with it comes the lowest period of excitement for the year before the build up running into the finals begins. In 2012, the NRL has decided to overcome this apparent boredom by releasing NRL versions of Classic films of yesteryear. Following are the synopsis of some of the more notable classics.

Wests Side Story

The love story in troubled times between two gangs, Wests and Illawarra. The Wests gang, lead by Robbie is seeking to obtain premiership glory, but they have to overcome Illawarra, run by Peter.

In a confusing love triangle, Robbie’s sister, Tim, is set up in an arranged marriage which she agrees to with one of the Illawarra gang members, but before long Tim soon learns she is in love with Wests gang member Benji. This tryst leads to a more passionate warfare between to the gangs. Will Tim get to be with her true love? Who will win the premiership? Who cares?

Dial ‘M’ For Murdoch

A successful media magnate hatches a plan to murder a game that had committed the crime of not giving him massive amounts of money he did nothing to earn nor deserve, but when the murder fails he concocts a brilliant Plan B, but he has the tough detective Ian Schubert on his case, who plans to bring the whole sordid affair to light

Die Hard With a Whimper

In this actionless packed blockbuster, Stephen Kearney is on a one man mission to bring down an organisation that has been committing crimes against the public. He finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time and with a group of useless bumbling idiots whose failure to work as a team see’s them all being picked off, one-by-one, by Kearney.

Picnic at Redfern Station

An Australian cinematic masterpiece, tells the story of a bunch of unknown girls who go walking about at Redfern train station one day, only for John, Sam and Greg to all go missing, leading to an area wide search over several weeks, focussing strongly on the top 8, but cannot find them. Will they ever appear in finals football again?

The Replacements

During a prolonged run of injuries and player ineptitude, football head coach Ivan is forced to compete with a gang of replacement players, including an alter boy, a farmhand, a lazy drunk and a bald man. They come up with some not so surprising results.

Mary Shelley’s Furnerstein

In the sequel, and almost reversal, of the original classic, Dr Furnerstein had a perfectly functioning and able bodied daemon, which he created, but who continually falls apart. Dr Furnerstein is constantly on a mission to try and find body parts, to repair his creation with so that he can live. The soundtrack is headed by Metallica’s song “The God That Failed”.

The Greatest Story Ever Told

An epic story about Gal and the creation, life and teachings of the Shire’s new messiah, Todd. Go with Todd as he preaches about being the son of Gal and the lessons we can all learn from Gal’s wise words, most notably “When you see a wall, don’t waste time by going round it, simple go through it. Be more wall than the wall itself.” You will leave this movie inspired to do something, be it great or alcoholic. Screening only in the Shire, due to popular demand.

The Invention Of Lying

A modern comedy/drama with an unusual twist. Follow Craig and his mates around in a world where lying doesn’t exist. Until one of Craig’s mates, Greg, tells the first ever lie for his own personal gain. The fact everyone else knows the truth fails to deter Greg , who is committed to teaching all of Craig’s friends how to lie as well.

The Life of Wayne

A comical masterpiece from Newcastle surrounding the arrival of Wayne into their world, who is accidentally referred to as a messiah from the first day of his arrival. Watch in great laughter as Kurt the leper begs for money and Willie, the loudmouth moron living in a hole in the ground starts tweeting instead of speaking when he is disturbed.

There are many more great NRL films coming your way later this year.

Also, please feel free to take some treats with you while watching the movies. Prices are below.

Pie - $8
Sauce - $4
Pie and Sauce combo - $20
50ml Soft Drink - $10
Alcohol – Bring your chequebook