The Camping Trip (2008)

“Okay boys, have you all got your bags packed? It’s time to go!”

Cartwright: I don’t wanna go!
Cleary: Neither do I, I hate leaving home!

“Come on boys, it’ll be fun. You have fun at home all the time, it’ll be just the same on the camping trip”

Stuart: Yeah come on you two, stop whinging and get on the bus!
Hasler: WHO F***ING DIED AND MADE YOU F***ING BOSS!
Stuart: Stop whinging.
Hasler: I’M NOT F***ING WHINGING. YOU ARE!
Stuart: Dessie’s picking on me!

“Okay you two that’s enough. All the bags are here except one. Where’s Jason?”

Taylor: Down here.

“Oh there you are. Okay everyone on the bus! Let’s go!”

The bus arrives at the camp site and the boys put up their tents.

“Who’s crying? Tim what’s the matter”

Sheens: I’ve got all the pieces in their right spots, but it just won’t work!

“Let’s have a look here. Okay Tim, the most important piece here is the centre pole. Where is it?”

Sheens: It’s there!

“Tim that’s a shoe, why would you use a shoe when you have a perfectly good centre pole right there”

Sheens: I like that shoe.

“Tim, use the pole you have and stop throwing tantrums. Now what’s going on over here Steve?”

Folkes: I’m buying Ricky’s bent tent peg.

“Why do you want a bent tent peg?”

Folkes: Well I don’t have any good tent pegs to use, so I’m buying bent ones. If you know anyone with some spare pegs lying around that they don’t need, let them know I’ll pay good money for them.”

“Okay Steve, I’ll keep that in mind. Jason, what’s happening here buddy? Everyone elses tents are almost up except yours.”

Taylor: It keeps falling down

“Let’s have a look here. Jason, you have a heap of pieces but none them are from the same set and all these poles and pegs are rusty. Why didn’t you buy a new tent set?”

Taylor: I thought this one was new.

“Unfortunately not. You’ll have to share with someone else. Graham, can Jason share your tent?”

Murray: I just got kicked out of my tent.

“Kicked out! Well where are you going to sleep?”

Murray: I was going to share with Jason.

“Oh dear, this is not good, unfortunately there isn’t a spare tent, you two will have to sleep on the bus tonight. Wayne, what are you doing?”

Bennett: I’m bored with my tent, I want Nathan’s.

“But your tent is the best tent here, Nathan’s isn’t very good at all, why would you want his?”

Brown: He can have it, I don’t mind.

“But where are you going to sleep Nathan?”

Brown: I don’t know, I’m just happy to have had the tent and to get the chance to be here.

“Well that’s nice Nathan, but you still have nowhere to sleep.”

Brown: Maybe I can sleep in Wayne’s tent.
Bennett: No you can’t.
Brown: Well why not, you’ll be sleeping in my tent.
Bennett: No I won’t. I’ll be renovating your tent so that it becomes my old tent.
Brown: Well I’ll go and sleep under the bus until someone offers me a tent, or a jacket.

“Neil, what are you doing? You haven’t finished putting up your tent.”

Henry: I’m going to sleep in Graham’s tent. He’s not using it anymore.

“What are going to do with your tent?”

Henry: Don’t care, I like this tent better. Can I stay here?

“You should sleep in the tent you brought”

Henry: I don’t like it anymore.

“Well okay then. Brian, Michael why are you fighting?”

Hagan: He’s trying to get stuff out of my tent.
Smith: It used to be my tent, it still has some of my things in it.
Hagan: Your tent used to be mine too remember.
Smith: No it didn’t, it’s always been mine, you just borrowed it
Hagan: I hate you!
Smith: I hate you too!

Fighting breaks out between Brian and Michael. Craig comes over and puts Brian in a chicken-wing hold and he stops fighting.

“Thank you Craig. You can let him go now. Brad why are you smiling? Is there something you’re not telling me?”

Fittler: Jason doesn’t have a tent ha-ha!

“That’s not very nice Brad”

Fittler: Steve doesn’t have any tent pegs either, I took them from him ha-ha!

“You took Steve’s tent pegs? Are you going to give them back?”

Fittler: Nup. Ha-ha!

“You boys are a bloody handful!”