NRL Dictionary (2011)

Over the past decade there have been a number of accidental and deliberate controversies by players, clubs and officials within the game, which has dented our reputation.

Adding to this has been an unfortunate misconception by the general public and sections of the media, that we, the NRL, have at times been inconsistent.

We realise and understand this inconsistent perception of the NRL has been caused by our varying interpretations of particular definitions.

Therefore, in an attempt to remedy the issue, we have come up with an NRL dictionary, which will be given to all players, coaches, officials and clubs. In it are words that we have an alternate interpretation of, along with the common and the NRL definitions.

If any future misdemeanors are to occur, we will assume you have read this dictionary and will punish offenders very heavily.

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Allege
Actual definition: v. Ah-ledge – state without proof
NRL definition: v. Gill-tee – having committed an act of ill-repute, illegality or immorality. Verdict handed down by a NRL tribunal prior to actual legal hearing.

Apology
Actual definition: n. Ah-poll-o-gee – an expression of regret for a wrongdoing.
NRL definition: n. Sigh-lent – the self-admission that you made an error and state you will carry out a list of measures, none of which are ever actually done.

Assault
Actual definition: n & v. Ah-salt – (make) a violent attack, physical, verbal or mental.
NRL definition: n & v. Bond-ing-Sess-shun – an action caused by good people who have become socially excitable, usually provoked by the public.

Cheat
Actual definition: v. Cheet – an act of dishonesty, or to act unfairly to gain an advantage.
NRL definition: v. May-king-us-look-stew-pid – an intentional breach of our guidelines without making it obvious what you have done, thus making us look foolish.

Consistent
Actual definition: adj. Con-siss-tent – regular; unchanging. In agreement; not conflicting.
NRL definition: adj. In-con-siss-tent – depending on matter being dealt with, we make an agreement based on the like or dislike the media, court (NRL definition) or fellow board members have regarding subject.

Court
Actual definition: n. Cawt – the judge, the jury, and law officers who hear and preside over legal cases.
NRL definition: n. Joo-dish-ar-ee – The NRL judiciary, whom have no legal qualifications, but know if certain unlawful acts are a particular players ‘go’ or not. Have persuasion over law courts, but we are not to be seen as such.

Crime
Actual definition: n. Cry-m – a serious offence punishable by the law.
NRL definition: n. Bring-ing-the-gaym-in-to-dis-re-pewt – a serious offence that draws negative headlines and has the potential to minimize prospective income for the NRL. Will be dealt with by the court (NRL definition)

Drug
Actual definition: n. Drug – an illegal substance taken for its stimulating or other effects, mostly unnatural.
NRL definition: n. Med-e-cay-shun – depending on the player, the drug may be linked to serious illness (known as martyr) or could be linked to a violent underworld regime capable of ruling the planet. The clarification is decided by the court (NRL definition) to determine if the allegation (NRL definition) deserves to have action taken.

Drunk
Actual definition: adj. Drunk – strongly affected by over consumption of alcohol.
NRL definition: adj. See-sun-lawnch – the action of promoting our game in a manner that makes one (or several) person(s) more easily accessible with the media, who are constantly drunk (actual definition).

Gamble
Actual definition: v. Gam-bull – play games of chance for financial gain. Risk in the hope to attain some return.
NRL definition: v. Shawt-chayn-jing-us – taking advantage of our hard work to get gambling organisations to give us their sponsorship money, and then using our game to make quick easy money for yourself. Also linked with both definitions of ‘cheat’.

Guilty
Actual definition: adj. Gill-tee – taking responsibility for a specified wrongdoing.
NRL definition: adj. Wash-ing-ow-hands – An action where a person is alleged (NRL definition) of committing an act, and based on an unfavourable court (NRL definition) hearing, you are forced to make an apology (actual definition) for a crime (NRL definition) that you may or may not have committed. See ‘allege’ (NRL definition).

Justify
Actual definition: v. Jus-tee-fy – show to be right or reasonable.
NRL definition: v. Ly-ing – making an unreasonable decision and then going to great lengths to exacerbate the issue to make our decision appear reasonable. Usually followed by an apology (NRL definition).

Please take the time to thoroughly understand these subtle differences. We will endeavor to revise these definitions over time as we see fit.

See consistent (NRL definition).