Sunday, 7 August 2011

Hiking Trip (2009)

Okay boys, today we will be climbing to the top of Mount Premiership. You should all have your navigation equipment, appropriate clothing and food packed. So lets go!

After an hour there are some boys missing from the group.

Where’s Jason?
Bellamy: Don’t know, don’t care
Now Craig that’s not very nice. (Mobile phone rings)
Taylor: Hello, it’s Jason
“Jason, where are you?”
Taylor: I got lost.
“There’s only one track, and it has hand rails all the way, how could you get lost? Where are you?”
Taylor:I don’t know, it looks like a dark room
Hasler: The idiot went to the cellar last night to get some food, he hasn’t come out yet. Damnit there’s always someone stuffing up my plans!
Settle down Des. We’ll wait here until Jason catches up. Where’s Tim?
Taylor: He’s just outside, he’s hungry.
“Well he has some crackers, why doesn’t he eat them?”
Taylor: Because they’ve gone stale.
Sheens (in background): My bag is stuck on the cellar door, I can’t unhook it!
“You two, stay there, we’ll be back in a few hours time”
WAYNE! What did you just do to that lizard!
Bennett: I gave it CPR, poos thing looked like it had been struggling to survive for quite a while. It’s come back to life now.
That is truly remarkable.
Furner: I agree, I wish I could do that.
Who are you?
Furner: I’m David, don’t you remember?
I just haven’t seen you around Donald, have you done anything I would remember?
Furner: It’s David. On the bus here when you were doing a roll call, I poked my tongue out.
Ohhhh! Now I recall yes. Danny, have you seen John or Ivan?
Furner: They are way up there with Neil. My name is David, not Danny or Donald.
Sorry about that Damien. I had no idea they’d got away so quickly, Neil was back here just a few moments ago. Ricky, where did you just come from?
Stuart: I kinda went off course a little bit, I didn’t know which way we had to go.
We’re going north Ricky, where’s your compass?
Stuart:I don’t have one.
Why not? We’re going hiking, it is imperative that everyone has a compass.
Stuart: I couldn’t afford one.
Well stay with the group closely please. Hey, who are you?
Furner: I’m DAVID!
No not you.
Moore: He’s my friend.
You weren’t allowed to bring anyone else.
Moore: Sorry, I thought it would be okay, what difference does one extra person make?
It’s one extra person we hadn’t catered for.
Moore: Well Henjak didn’t come on the hike, so it makes no difference.
Why, where is he?
Moore: He’s sick, he couldn’t be here.
Bellamy: Oink Oink (giggles)
Moore: That’s not very nice, it’s your fault he got sick in the first place.

Another half hour passes, but an accident has seen the trek come to another halt.

Are you ok Brian?
Smith: I’m fine, just a bit gidley
Smith: Gidley, you know, dizzy, light headed.
Oh okay. Well just take a breather under this tree here. Where’s Brad?
Fittler: I’m up here (Sitting on a branch up in the tree)
Get down from there Brad, this is not a time for tom foolery.

Fittler starts to climb back down but slips and falls all the way down to the ground.

Fittler: Owww, that hurts!
Hasler: Stop your complaining you stupid idiot!
Anderson: Stop fighting! I’ve had enough of the fighting!
Come on boys, settle down. Let’s all sit down and have some lunch.

Henry catches up to the group and stops to rest with the others.

Neil, where have you been?
Henry: Walking along the track.
But you were right up front with John just an hour ago.
Cleary: His shoe come off.
Why didn’t you help him?
Cleary and Cartwright: (Both shrug shoulders) Dunno.
What about you Matt, why didn’t you help him?
Elliott: No one ever bothers to help me, why should I help?
That’s hardly the right attitude to have Matt.
Hasler: Yeah Matt, wake up to yourself you inconsiderate moron! I hate people like you! I HATE YOU!
Des, Calm Down!
Stuart: I wish I could afford to hate someone.
Fittler: I’m in pain here and in need of help, can someone please help me!
Everyone: Shut up!

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