Sunday, 7 August 2011

Code Of Conduct (2007)

Over the last several seasons, the National Rugby League has been investing a lot of time, money, effort and resources into educating its players on professional behaviour, on and off the field.

This has had a great effect, however there are still many deplorable off field incidents occurring. Because of this, the following code of conduct has been constructed and distributed to ALL players, with which they must abide by at ALL times.

The NRL believes the following code will ensure better behaviour by all its players and officials in all aspects of life, thus improving our games image.

NRL Head Typist for David Gallop’s Secretary.


1.1 – If you are married, you are not permitted under any circumstance to involve yourself in any sexually promiscuous behaviour.

1.2 – This includes any sexually related conduct of any manner, whether public or private, whether consensual or not. If you are married, you must only participate in sexual activity with the person you are married to. If you wish to participate in such activities you must annul your marriage so as to conform with Rule 1.3

1.3 – If you are not in a relationship (this means that you are not married or engaged to be married), you are hereby allowed to participate in sexual behaviour with anyone of your choice, so long as they;
1.3.a. Give consent before any sexually related action takes place
1.3.b. Sign a waiver stating that under no circumstances, are they allowed to claim they were raped. This document has to be signed by the CEO of said club which player represents, at time of consent given.
1.3.c. Are willing to admit they were fully satisfied with their product, and fill out a short survey rating their experience (purely for marketing purposes, so that we can better improve the NRL product).

2.1 – If attending an establishment that supplies and provides alcohol for on-site consumption, you are hereby denied from the following;
2.1.a. Removing any garments covering your person.
2.1.b. Punching, biting, spitting, gouging, pushing, shouting, yelling, screaming, dancing, bragging, slapping, groping or touching anyone at all without previous consent in the form of the waiver described in Rule 1.3.b.
2.1.c. Flirting – unless you conform with Rule 1.3. and it’s Sub-Rules.
2.1.d. Passing out or expelling fluids in an unbecoming manner, whilst in view of the general public.
2.1.e. Be escorted out of said establishment by security for reasons they see fit in regards to your behaviour.

3.1 If you are a referee or an on field official of any stature, you are not permitted to participate in any form of fun in public or in private. We have worked very hard for many years to promote an image for all our on field officials as unpopular nerds. Any reports of you engaging in any promiscuous behaviour will be dealt with via immediate disciplinary action, which could see any offender being made to referee club Rugby Union games.

3.2 As a referee, you must hereby accept all verbal abuse hurled at you whether it be during a game or outside of the game, as you are unpopular nerds.

4.1 If you are approached by a reporter, you MUST always use the following answers to these (or similar) questions:

4.1.a. Q: Do you think you can win the Premiership?
A: We’re just taking it one game at a time.

4.1.b. Q: How is your injury coming along?
A: It’s coming along really well; I hope to be back for <very important game here>

4.1.c. Q: How do you feel about playing against <player you really hate>?
A: I have a lot of respect for <hated player>, he’s one of the toughest competitors out there and he always brings out the best in me.

4.1.d. Q: How does it feel to be awarded the <prestigious medal>?
A: This is really great; I never thought I’d ever win this. But I couldn’t have achieved it without my team mates, my family, the fans and <sponsor>. Thanks to all of you and to <sponsor>.

4.1.e. Q: Did you <insert criminal charge>?
A: No. I didn’t, I will not take any more questions on this matter, as it is being handled by the police.

As more behavioural misdemeanours arise, we shall continue to amend the rules here within.

Your assistance in abiding by this code of conduct will assist us in causing less negative headlines than the other Football codes.

David Gallop’s Head Typewriter.

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