Sunday, 7 August 2011

One Confused Man (2011)

Interviewer: Good evening and welcome. Tonight I am talking one on one with New South Wales State of Origin coach, Ricky Stuart. Ricky, thanks for joining us.
Stuart: Pleasure.
Interviewer: You said at the start of the series that you would be happy if the Blues won just one game in the series. They managed just that, do you feel satisfied with the result?
Stuart: I think the boys did well, I’d even go as far to say that they exceeded my expectations of them.
Interviewer: You didn’t think they’d be able to compete as well as they did?
Stuart: Well no. I knew we’d go close, but I didn’t expect it to get as close as it did. I actually had to remind the boys at half time in game three about our goal for the series.
Interviewer: To win the series on enemy turf and rain on Lockyer’s parade?
Stuart: No, to win just one game.
Interviewer: Wait. You didn’t want to the series?
Stuart: Hang on, we want to win a series, we have to, it’s been too long since we won a series. But not this series.
Interviewer: Doesn’t that make competing in this series irrelevant?
Stuart: Not at all. This series was all about proving me right. That is the quickest and best way to gain the publics, the selectors and the player’s faith in me for next year.
Interviewer: So you wanted one win, you got the one win, so you’re seen as some sort of angry Nostradamus?
Stuart: Exactly.
Interviewer: So what is your goal for next year?
Stuart: To win two games.
Interviewer: So in 2012, New South Wales will end Queensland’s six years of dominance.
Stuart: No. My goal isn’t to win the series in 2012. That’s my goal for 2013. I just want us to win two games in 2012.
Interviewer: You want to win two games …
Stuart: Yes
Interviewer: … in the best of three series …
Stuart: That’s right
Interviewer: … which will give you the series victory …
Stuart: You’re almost there
Interviewer: … in 2013?
Stuart: Exactly!
Interviewer: So who will win the series in 2012 then?
Stuart: Well we’ll have to wait and see won’t we.
Interviewer: Okay. Um, moving on then, what are your thoughts on Paul Gallen’s performance this year?
Stuart: Gal was awesome. Obviously I had to rein him in during Game three, he was almost inspiring the boys to victory. I couldn’t have him proving me wrong and throwing all our carefully planned goals out of whack.
Interviewer: Right. Were there any other players who stepped up in your opinion in this series?
Stuart: Oh absolutely. Matt Scott, young Yow Yeh, even Dane Nielsen showed a lot of promise …
Interviewer: I meant from New South Wales.
Stuart: … oh right, of course you did. Well there was a vast improvement from Mitchell Pearce, who was a nobody until I started coaching him this year, now he’s world class. There’s also the world’s best hooker Michael Ennis and the world’s greatest fullback Josh Dugan. These kids were brilliant.
Interviewer: They aren’t the world’s best in their respective positions though, are they?
Stuart: Yes they are. Who do they have to compete with? No one from England or New Zealand is as good as them. France hasn’t had any decent players since the sixties …
Interviewer: Well there’s the incumbent Australian test players; Thurston, Smith and Slater.
Stuart: Well yeah, but they aren’t from the world, they’re from Queensland.
Interviewer: Moving on, again. What did you make of the officiating in the series?
Stuart: It was hopeless. Pathetic. The refereeing single handedly cost us the series …
Interviewer: A series you didn’t want to win …
Stuart: Well, if we had full intentions of winning this series …
Interviewer: Which you didn’t …
Stuart: Right, well some of those dubious decisions cost us the third game.
Interviewer: Which you didn’t want to win …
Stuart: And essentially the series.
Interviewer: Which you didn’t want to win.
Stuart: That’s right.
Interviewer: So the referees helped you reach your goal essentially?
Stuart: No. They cost us the chance to win the series, if we had planned to win the series.
Interviewer: Ricky Stuart thanks for your time.
Stuart: How do you get out of here?
Interviewer: Through that exit door
Stuart: That doesn’t make sense.

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