Sunday, 7 August 2011

What Is Wrong With Today's Society? (2006)

When did morals come into the picture?

What is wrong with Ron Artest belting the living crap out of an opposing teams fan during an NBA game?

I'd love to go to the footy, give Andrew Johns a spray and watch that big arse waddle up through the stands to try and hit me, before I tap his jaw and watch it turn to jelly. Hell, I'll pay you an extra thirty bucks at the gate for that entertainment!

The point I'm making is that it is entertainment. Entertainment is something that we all pay a great sum of money for, every single day.

Which is why this will be most likely the first, last and only article to applaud Craig Gower, to give him praise for acting like a wanker at a charity golf day.

Let us take a look at the society that Craig lives in and see if we can really find a reason for all the action taken against him.

First of all, let’s make a huge generalisation which for a majority of Aussie blokes, wouldn't be far from the mark. Please keep in mind that I am a former barman, so I speak from first-hand knowledge. I am practically a professor in drunken behaviour.

What do Aussie blokes like doing most?

1) Drinking beer
2) Sport - playing and/or watching
3) Ogle women

Craig did all of this at once, which is usually followed with plaudits from all and sundry. Was anyone enjoying what he was doing? Was anyone entertained? Yes.

Who? I hear you ask.

I can guarantee to you that Craig was having a hoot of a time when it was happening. Therefore, being a celebrity, a sportsman, an entertainer, he should've been paid for his actions, not fined.

But oh no, media and society had to draw the morals card. These are the same people who felt it was morally fine to bash each other, smash cars and shops up, make Australia look like a backward racist nation and God knows what else at Cronulla and Maroubra in December last year.

These people have morals? These people decide what’s right or wrong? Give me a break!

Where I come from, if you play golf, you must be drinking. If you are drinking, then you better be intent on being drunk. If there are women around when you are drunk, you better be looking to pick up, otherwise you will look uninterested in the female form, meaning all your mates are then allowed, under the Uncivil Drunken Bastards Act 1884;

Law 3a (i): To call the offending male a 'poof'.

Craig himself is pretty certain that he isn't homosexual, his missus is pretty much proof of that, unless she's one of those weird boy-girl things, although his tackling style doesn't help his case at times, therefore he was forced by law, to take the actions he did.

Obviously, his manner was orthodox and possibly a bit unpleasant for some of the uppity members of the gallery that day, but he didn't kill anyone. He didn't bash someone on a train because they have different coloured hair to him. He didn't call anyone a wog, or fly a plane into some prominent building. He just got drunk at the golf and gave a girl a bit of a 'how’s your father.'

However it turns out the father was Wayne Pearce, who is literally a God amongst men. You don't mess about with God's, they'll hurt you. That was the only thing Craig did wrong. Next time he should pick some girl whose father is a pathetic weakling with no authority. That’s what any smart drunk would do.

He was just a moron who groped the wrong girl whilst out having a good time at the golf. I know I've made a few mistakes while at the golf, like putting with a driver, throwing empty stubbies at crows that are trying to take my golf ball and accidently hitting the IDIOT in the group in front that takes FIFTEEN DAMN PRACTICE SWINGS BEFORE EVERY SHOT, JUST TO SEE THE BALL GO INTO THE WATER!.....oops, just for a laugh.

Poor bloke.

Keep your head up Craig, there's more Golf Courses out there in the ocean.

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