Sunday, 7 August 2011

A Little Chat With The Headmaster (2008)

The two boys trudge up the hallway to meet their destiny, heads bowed, shoulders slumped. For one of the boys, he’s used to this walk and isn’t very concerned. For the other boy, he’s only had to do this walk a few times, and while it’s still a nerve racking expedition, he’s beginning to enjoy the rise in his profile due to his slowly increasing notoriety.

As their slowly shuffling feet carry them closer to the door, the boys raise their heads, sigh and open the door marked “Headmaster.”

“Ah yes, you two again. William, you have been coming in here on a regular basis. What have you done this time?”

“I didn’t do anything, he started it!”

“Son, is this true? Did you start the fight?”

“No, he did, he lied to me!”

“What did he lie about?”

“He said if I stayed his friend he would let me use his bike. But he never let me use it. It’s not fair, he lied!”

“Calm down son. Is this true William?”

“Nuh. He’s just being a sook.”

“Well can your friend use the bike now William?”


“And why not?”

“Because I sold it. I didn’t like it anymore, the chain kept falling off. It was crap.”

“Well that’s fair enough. Is that what this fight was about son?”

“He also teased me.”

“What did he say son?”

“He picked on me because he gets more pocket money than me.”

“Well that’s not really William’s fault. You should be happy you get pocket money. I remember when I was a boy your age; I never got any pocket money.”

“But I want more pocket money. It’s not fair!”

“Have you asked your parents?”

“Yes, they don’t want to give me any more, they said I get heaps of pocket money now.”

“So you think these silly little things are a good enough reason to have a fight with your friend?”

“He’s not my friend anymore, he’s a smelly liar!”

The boy turns to William and pokes out his tongue then says:

“Liar Liar pants on fire!”

“I’m not a liar!”

“Well William, you did put Craig’s name on your assignment a few years ago. You also said you were sick one day so that you didn’t have to come to school and get punished. You do have a bit of a reputation.”

“I never did those.”


The boys jump out of their seats and start fighting again. The Headmaster gets out from behind his desk and breaks them up. He hands down the punishment to the boys. They are ordered to pick up rubbish in the playground.

After an hour passes, the boys have been sent back to the Headmasters office.

“Okay, I’ve just had more reports of bad behaviour by you two. Firstly, William, I heard you were picking on the boys upstairs, calling them names. Is this true?”

“They started it!”

“Calling people names for no reason is not a smart thing to do William. Now you son, I heard you were doing something very bad in the girls toilets. Care to explain what happened?”

“Candice started it!”

“You could’ve said no son. That sort of behaviour will not be tolerated at this school. Now considering what has transpired today, I have no other real option but to call your parents to come and collect you. You’re both suspended for two weeks!”

The boys looked up, astonished. Never before have they been suspended. William had been close on a few occasions, but neither had been suspended. They sat in fear, before being ushered out of the headmaster’s office by the secretary.

As they silently shuffled down the hallway in shock, to collect their bags, prior to being picked up by their parents, they passed another student. Luke was on his way to the Headmasters office.

Luke walks in, brimming with confidence.

“Hello, sir”

“Hello Luke, how can I help you?”

“I don’t want to go to the public school now. Can I stay here?”

“But Luke, your parents have already done all the paperwork.”

“Yes, I know, I’m sorry about this, but I had a look at that school and it doesn’t look very good. I don’t want to go there.”

“Well okay then, I’ll see what I can do. Is there anything else?”

“Yeah, I think my friend wants to do the same as well.”

“It’s just one of those days!”

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