Sunday, 7 August 2011

Real Representative Football (2005)

The NRL has many Representative fixtures every year. Years ago, these matches introduced virtual unknowns to the Sydney public. Most importantly, the City vs Country fixture.

Nowadays the teams are selected from players who are all based in the city. What I’d like to see happen again is for country players, located in the country, to represent the country.

To do so, we need guidelines as to what areas and players are classified as country. Therefore:
*Any city that is represented in the NRL is immediately excluded.
*Any player currently playing in the NRL is also ineligible to represent country.

With these guidelines taken into consideration, we select the teams to take part in the 2006 City v Country match, to be held at Hay in Dave Johnson’s paddock near the creek that hasn’t had water in it for the last 34 years.

Here are the starting 13 for both sides.


Anthony Minichiello – Fullback – Sydney City – Incumbent Australian and NSW fullback. One of the most consistently good performers in the game.

Matt King – Wing – Melbourne – Fringe Test and current NSW winger. Powerful runner of the ball who knows how to get over the tryline.

Mark Gasnier – Centre – St.George-Illawarra – Test and NSW centre. One of the best centres in the world over the last few years.

Timana Tahu – Centre – Parramatta – Australian and NSW stalwart. Fast and very highly rated attacker.

Luke Covell – Wing – Cronulla – Goalkicking sensation faultless attacker and defensive powerhouse.

Trent Barrett – Five-Eighth – St.George-Illawarra – Has represented Australia and NSW many times. Concise player.

Andrew Johns – Halfback – Newcastle – Has been dubbed the worlds best player for many years. Many people have requested he become an immortal already.

Glenn Morrison – Lock – Parramatta – Fringe state and Test player, the total package, ball skills, good tackler, hard runner of the ball.

Willie Mason – Second Row – Canterbury – Big powerful attacker, awesome defender. Australian and NSW representative.

Steve Menzies – Second Row – Manly – The greatest tryscoring forward in the games history. The most consistently solid performer every week.

John Skandalis – Prop – Wests – Experienced, solid performer every week. Fringe representative player.

Danny Buderus – Hooker – Newcastle – Test and NSW representative. Dally M player of the year in 2004.

Joel Clinton – Prop – Penrith – Hard working front rower, always performs at a high level. One of the best in the world.


Jared McKenzie – Fullback – Griffith – Teenage sensation, renowned for turning up drunk to every game.

James Harrison – Wing – Hay – Speedy winger, played sex games with two sheep one drunken night after his mates convinced him he was a ram.

Steve Smith – Centre – Condobolin – Experienced centre, played in the infamous 42-0 Grand Final win of 1979 where an all in brawl saw him get arrested for killing a spectators dog in a rage fuelled accident.

Mick Brown – Centre – Tooma – Big burly centre, holds the competition record for most stubbies consumed on a bus trip from the pub to his house. For the record, it’s a 3 minute trip and he sunk 31 VB’s.

Jack Burrell – Wing – Armidale – Lanky speedster, goal kicker and one of the most potent farters in the world.

Aaron Masters – Five Eighth – Wagga Wagga – Youngest player on the field at just 14. Once gave his teacher a glass of sheep drench and told them it was a cure for their virus.

Steve Brown – Halfback – Dubbo – Coming back from a suspension for misconduct after he set a rabbit trap outside the refs door at halftime of a crucial game.

Craig Marshall – Lock – Yass – Described by his club coach as “One bloody huge bastard!” Once bashed a bloke at his pub with a pool cue because he ‘looked at him weird.’

Brian Jenkins – Second Row – Tumbarumba – Aggressive back rower, known for his fend and also for shearing an opponent who said he was ‘sh*thouse.’

Anthony King – Second Row – Gundagai – Consistent performer who never gives up, nicknamed zappy, because he once had his testicles electrocuted whilst climbing over an electric fence.

Wal Huber – Prop – Bathurst – weighing in at 145kgs, is the largest Rugby League representative in the history of the game. Once killed a cat on his farm when he sat on it. It took a week to find it.

Ben Thomas – Hooker – Tamworth – speedy, cheeky and very clever. Kills possums in the roof with a 12 gauge shotgun.

Mark Fuller – Prop – Inverell – Big, tough, cruel front rower. Feeds neighbours dogs 1020 fox baits so he can watch them die slowly just for fun.

Now that’s a good line-up. Lets get this game started!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.